I suppose I've got some explaining to do. I apologize for not posting but it's been a very busy week and a half. Last I left off, I had just discussed the lymph node biopsy with Dr. Hicks on the 18th. I've had a lot of ups and downs since then which I will explain in due time. Bear with me while I process everything, ok? It might take me a couple of posts.

4/19/11 - At this date, we're still not sure what my after-surgery treatments are going to be, so I'm starting to get the "meet & greets" out of the way with the rest of my care team. On this day, I had an appointment with Dr. Naill, a Radiation Oncologist. Aaron went with me to the appointment and stayed with me the whole time.

Based on past experience, I tend not to do well with male doctors. It's not a sexist thing. I'm sure that there are many, many capable male doctors in the world. After some bad experiences when I was younger, I just happen to not be comfortable with them. I have to give props to Dr. Naill though. He managed to put me right at ease, even while I was being examined. That's no small feat!

We had to watch a video about some of the treatment options, then the doctor came in to discuss things in more detail, do his exam, and answer any questions we might have. At least we have an idea about what radiation entails and what some of the side effects will be. In a nutshell and to be quite blunt, it's kinda like I would be put in the nuker, only they'll be using radiation instead of microwaves. Radiation would have a hard time going through implants. If I'm using expanders, they will have to be used be prior to radiation because irradiated skin will not stretch and grow. A bit of a conundrum, wouldn't you say? So we left more informed than when we walked in and we are set to go when & if Dr. Gold says I need to turn into the Human Nightlight. :-P

It's funny all of the little things you happen to think about when you gear up for something like this. I happened to think that when I go through chemo, I'm probably going to throw up a lot. So I called my dentist and he hooked me up with special toothpaste to protect my teeth (Fluoridex Daily Defense, only available through your dentist). I also got a call from my pest control people to set up an appointment to restart my service for the year. I told them about the change in my health status and that I'd only need their services on the outside of the house. They were very accommodating. We'll just have to squish the critters the old fashioned way this year.

4/21/11 - This was the day of my lymph node biopsy. It pretty much went the same way as my first biopsy on the tumor, only it was taken from the enlarged node my left armpit this time. I also had a chance to meet Dr. Hicks, who seemed blown away with my sense of humor about the situation. He had a hard time trying to stop laughing when I told him the zombie boobs needed to go. (What? It's fast-growing, mutating, rotten tissue, right? Zombie boobs!)

On the way out, I walked across the parking lot to Dr. Gold's office. I knew I wouldn't be able to see the doc but I had a few tweaks going on and I had been told to report any changes. I was told that I'd get a call later.

Later in the day, it was time to meet Aaron at the karate school so that he & Connor could go to class. On my way there, Nurse Jessica called me back so I pulled the car to the side of the road. I wanted to let them know that I had messed up my back bowling and had seen Dr. Mike, my chiropractor, to fix it. Her solution, jokingly, was to not bowl anymore but she had no problem with my getting adjusted.

The other thing that I had wanted to talk about was my growing anxiety. It seemed like I was receiving a never-ending stream of bad news. The stress rock in the pit of my stomach always seemed to be there now. I constantly felt nauseated. Just about anything would set me to crying. I didn't know what to do about it though. For the first time in my life, my sense of humor and ability to roll with the punches didn't seem to be getting me through. Jessica suggested that she prescribe an anti-depressant for me. I had never taken one before, but it sounded like just the life raft I needed. I agreed and she called the prescription in for me for the next morning.

I pulled myself together after the call and finally got to the school. Again, I can't say how much of a blessing that place has been for me & my family. Barb, one of the gals in Aaron's class, came to me after class to let me know that I've been added to the prayer chain at her church and she gave me a vial of blessed oil to use. Now, I may be Pagan but I am not going to turn away well-wishes in any shape or form! I never have and never will. Prayer, spells, wishes... No matter what you want to call them, they have power all their own. I'm very thankful that Barb thought enough of me to do that for me.

4/22/11 - Plastic surgeon "meet 'n greet" day. We had to be up bright and early to get to our appointment at 8am. A big thank you to our friend, Sheryl, for being a trooper and getting up early to watch our kiddos for us! Dr. Pummell was nice but very down-to-business. Again, we got a lot of information in a very short time.

I had my heart set on the bilateral mastectomy with expander reconstruction. But I had also done a lot of reading ahead of time and was wondering about some options, such as the 90% mastectomy. With this option, it's possible to save the nipple and not have to reconstruct one from scratch. Unfortunately, with the amount of tissue I have to lose, this isn't option for me because there would be inadequate blood flow to help it survive. (I thought it would be nice to mention here though, in case any of you readers are looking at your options as well.)

So we agreed on what technique we are going to do, I was examined again, had pictures taken, and I now have a date for my surgery - May 19th! On we go!